before blaming others, think: whats the 1 constant in all your failed relationships? its that cursed egyptian amulet why do u even have that
it just got so much better
Bitch how did you not learn how to spell “bananas” until you were 20 years old
So I’m hosting a Chinese exchange student for the year, and she came in last night at midnight, so I was asleep (trying to get back on a regular sleep schedule, you know?), and this morning she gave me a gift.
- It’s a mug
- When you put hot liquid in it
- It changes from solid black
"your homework still isn’t done? what have you been doing this whole time??"